Saturday, February 19, 2011

Fellow Pilgrims

Meeting an old soul is always a joy for me, and meeting Irish ones are even more exiting: this past few days have been a delight in that way.

Allen: was an older man could not tell you his age, but he had bright eyes and a love of Jane Austen, good literature and good grammar. We passionately talked, leafed and shared the stories of his youth and travels, simple joys of loving harts and of the county side. We shared a communion of souls that was such a treasure. As we said good bye and hugged, we two seemed to wish that we would reconnect some day. After that he stepped into his reality, of who knows what poverty, and I into mine. I felt a bit of my hart find something it was missing and refreshed with hope for what life could be and what it is missing. A new hunger and love of my fellow creatures…

Grase: a beautiful Irish grandmother, with a joy in serving, a humor and feistiness that I can only but hope to have at her age. As we served beans and toast in the most beautiful way – she shared her humor, her hart for the young boys that came in (with a mothers sharp criticism as well), her broken hart, and her new gardening endeavors. I look forward to serving with her in the future and hope to learn from this Iris gem!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

We are told to rely on God and that God will provide: “all things work for the good of those how love Him” ... Now just to let you know what has been a week (well a week and 1/ 2). Many things have changed and many things have happened but for now I will just focus on one aspect In Matt 11:30 it says ‘For my yoke is easy and my burden is light’ This was something that I never understood – it was all but ironic, when I was trying to walk a very narrow path in a train station with all my belongings (save 5 boxes) and the fresh pain of having to throw everything else away. Really, how can God’s yoke be light? It was not light when I as giving 5 years of collected art supplies and bits of home away. It was not light when I was standing in a train station by myself, with bags that where breaking my back, as I went to a place that I did not know what to expect, for a time that was undetermined, and no financial stability to think off. Yes people where supporting me – I had a host of people praying for me, but I was cold and a bit hungry, tired and well, not that comfortable, and the world I once knew was falling apart. How was this a ‘light burden’? British Gypsies have more stability then I do! But as the day’s passed, and new experiences came, some good and some not so good (suffered a small panic attack). I kept thinking: well its God’s burden on me, so it is not in my definitions that I need to define it. How does this all look in God’s wisdom? If everything is temporal, as it states in Ecclesiastes and we need to enjoy the now. But how do we look at the unhappy now’s? I was thinking about this, as I was awkward singing in a time of worship, feeling out of place, and all too frustrated with the whole thing; ‘what was I doing with a bunch of charismatics ‘speaking in tongues’? As I sat there all a flutter with the frustration, I remembered it is not my definitions – it is God’s. To be happy in all situations is to see beauty in all situations: to acknowledge the pain, the fear the awkwardness, and then do as my grandmother says “relax and enjoy’ But still, how? How do you take all your feelings of the chaos, the scary of life and see beauty? How, when your hart is breaking and the world is crashing around you, how do you do this? How …… this is where my art background kicked in. The Futurists did this. They saw all of reality changing in front of their very eyes: technology was changing all of life. How it was lived, and how it was seen. Instead of seeing this change as something to be fearful of or something to hide form, they embraced it with all their creativity. They let themselves be caught up in the excitement of this new time: to let the waves of change wash over them and revel in it. Their art reflected this. The Chaos of the new loud Chaotic cites encroaching on the quiet of space, represented in bright colors. The bustling streets and all its complexities where something to be reevaluated, take inspiration from and find a new Chaotic beauty. One of my favorite pieces depicts this for me.

Unique Forms of Continuity in Space, Boccioni, 1913

It showed the forwarded motion of life and technology. Man being as if one with that uncertainty and seeing it as beautiful. I do agree that I am not an art history critic, so sorry any art history professors… But for me it reminded me to be like this odd group of artists. To see the beauty in life, the changes and struggles that my Creator has out in front of me and well, take out my tools and make the best of it.

To sit and think, well this is new, and let myself get lost in the eternal moment and see The Kingdom in it. To let myself to be like “a form in continual movement”, let God’s reality and my existence mingle in one, and race forward to His Kingdom and enjoy the ride all the beautiful chaos and love my follow creatures and share this irrational, illogical existence for something I do not yet quite know the depth of…