I have mad the big decision to attend a DTS this coming year here are some of the things that I hope to address.

The word missions and “evangelism” is some thing that I have struggled with for some time. I know that it is something that our master has called us to do – but how? How do we take out pain, apathy, discontent and transform it in the hand of Christ and become like a well watered garden and rebuilders of walls. I am hoping to see what it looks – to go alongside of our fellow pilgrims (not matter where they are heading) and share our trials and joys and in so doing, share in communion with the Divine. In doing this I am hoping to see how to live a life of complementing opposites. How do we live complete lives of enjoying what God gave us, all the while seeking to live and love and share in the lives of those who are oppressed by the injustices that we and others impose; how we do this, while living lives that are filled with the whisperings of redemption, without guilt.

I look to seek this by meeting with people who are engaging in urban missions, as well as those who are engaging in living with this conversations of justice and similar questions (even if their ideas are coming for total opposite directions). As well as learning how to live in community and learn from them

ART

Art is a big part of who I am – this is something that I hope to develop during this time with YWAM. Recently I have lost site of how to address my passion for the arts and the Kingdom. I know that this is an issue that many face and I hope to converse with those how are in this, just starting and others who are in it for some time. I am looking forward to developing this in myself and encouraging others. One opportunity to do this will be with YWAM Leeds (http://www.ywamleeds.com/), who is actively seeking how to live lives in justice and love through the Art’s in community. I also hope to develop and deepen relationships with artists who are in this journey.

Another aspect of this is my hope to discover more about how the Arts can be used in worship. Recently I have been very interested in how I can use my education in the fine arts with in liturgy and in adding a liturgical life. In this I hope to develop my own Art.

I have been very interested in the emergent church and how it look’s in the U.K.. I have been very encouraged by what I have experienced and heard regarding the conversation of communities that are seeking to embrace the faith and live a life as expressed in the Bible. This is one of the reasons I have chosen to partake in as DTS in the U.K. and in an environment that will be encouraging and open to my interest. In the past I have connected with some of these communities and have been very blessed. I am hoping to further these connections and forming others.

This decision of Partaking in a DTS has been a big one for me and one that has been roughly 4 years in coming. After almost 2 years of thinking of applying to YWAM, last year I finally did and was expected to go but I was still not at peace with it. Now, it seems to be the best time. I can truly say that I am doing this in faith. I know that there are many uncertainties in all of this but I can truly say I am giving this up to God

here it goes ...

The past 6 moths have been trying non-the-least. Being the hurricane that was my time in Philly. Now that it is over, I have very little to show for it

I have no picture of my time in Philly that are my own.

I did not let one shutter snap on my time there.

I was not able to but …….

The faces of that time will ever stay in my mind and hart. Those of

Hector: the Porto Rican gentlemen, who always had a smile for me. Almost every Sunday night, as he swept or just ‘chilled’ on his block.

Amina: the smiling little girl who would sit with me on my stoop, when I was sad and lonely.

Kenny: tall thin happy soul that was the city, beautiful, falling apart – the incarnate definition of beautiful decay.

Winifred: like the wind

and so many more of my fellow pilgrims that filled my hart with joy and my soul with a sadness that I had never known. This all mingled with the sounds of the city night in an empty house or on roof topes with laughter and stars, where hearts were poured like an offering, mingled and lifted to haven.

These stories are to be told looking into your eye’s or kissed onto your check. Not through this madam. But some day ask me, and we will have a cup of tea or a pint, and you will hear a little bit.

But for now, know that it was a time of darkness in my soul.

and when I finally understood, there was a light – it was only seen after I left the darkness. And I pray now that I was able to do Jesus’ biding, and shine in my small corner.

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;

I will counsel you and watch over you. Psalm 32:8

So it look’s like I am on my way to Philly for the next few moths (for the mid February to august) this was a hard decision because I was given an opportunity to do a DTS with YWAM in York this was some thing I had wanted to do for some time but as God, situation or my fear would have it, it was not possible at this current time (still looking to possibly doing later). Even with the decision mad, is not that easy for me in the with me being a crater much like that of Jan Austen’s Fanny Price for the fact that “I have no talent for certainty”

But now that I have mad the decision I much look to the thoughts of ransom (the decision was mad) “he might –sing like a martyr or blaspheme like a devil. It made not the slightest difference. The thing was going to be done. There was going to arrive, in the course of time, a moment at which he would have done it. The future act stood there, fixed and unalterable as if he had already performed it. It was a mere irrelevant detail that it happened to occupy the position we call future instead of that which we call past.”

So with this I will choose to try to sing and look forward to working hard all the wheal seeing the kingdom of God lived in me and those around me and seeing the faces of Christ in others. As well as riding my new bicycle, going to the art museum, taking pictures, and have fun with my family! As well as enjoy every minute of the adventure in expectation to see how I will be mad more like Christ and where this new adventure will lead me!